This article is written by Sam (real name known) and published with kind permissions by her.
Thrilled to find your website…to question the „sacred“ Big Book or the „pearls of wisdom“ from their great gurus is extremely dangerous to your health, I have learned…
Just buried a friend, Mary, who was in AA for years and a wonderful girl who loved to travel the world. She had hep C and was taking interferon, which causes depression and physical misery.
She went to a spend the night out with the girls in AA and told them that she wanted to let them know that she had been smoking pot to cope with the side effects of the medication. She said she wanted to stop smoking pot and asked her friends to help her.
Instead, her „friends“ raged on her and ostracized her. One girl, Diane, who is a big guru, told everyone not to even talk to her till she straightened out. This particular guru is very controlling and most people do what she says because she is prone to rages and they are afraid of her.
NO one was allowed to talk to her. Diane told them that she was dangerous to be around and if they cared for their own sobriety they had better stay away from her.
She was devastated beyond words that friends of years, people she trusted with her deepest secrets could suddenly cut her off like that–like their friendship had never existed. Like SHE didnt exist. I called anyway. It was too late, she was too deep in the bottle to care that anyone cared anymore.
They found her body in her apartment decomposing. All the „friends“ who had ostracized her showed up at her funeral en masse proclaiming how this „disease“ had killed their „friend.“ Diane was most outspoken about the „importance“ (to speed up her „hitting bottom“) of abandoning Mary. She also was sponsoring a friend of mine who has been „in“ and „out“ of AA for years. Her name is Kelly.
Diane insisted that Kelly stay away from this girl who had „gone out“ and it tore Kelly up to abandon a friend like that. She obeyed her sponsor because that was what she was taught in the rooms. (the stereotypical militant sponsor) .
When Mary died „with a needle in her arm“ Kelly, who had obeyed her sponsor's orders, fell apart with the load of guilt and confusion, and has relapsed since.
„Think, Think, Think…“ goes the slogan…and then you must turn over your most rational and sane thinking to your sponsor or you aren't „working the program.“ and you are „going to go back out.“
If you go back out, even with your sponsor's knife in your back, the sponsor says, „I am not to blame…she CHOSE to pick up that drink!“
When I found out my Kelly had gone back out we went to look for her because she was using alcohol, Soma and Xanax…deadly combinations…We couldn't find her. She had left a bar with a strange man no one knows. She is a beautiful blonde hurting and desperate woman.
There is so much more than I will take up your time with, about how many lives I know that have been destroyed, not by drugs, not by alcohol, but by AA gurus and idiots…the story I just related to you about the girl who was found dead…the same thing was done to me, only somehow I managed to live through it and I got out of AA!!!
AA will kill you if the alcohol or the drugs don't—at the very least it will make you crazy and doubt your most sane thinking. AA KILLS!!!